Finding the Balance

     Since there are no specifics for the blog post this week, I thought I would write about what is on the forefront of my mind right now, finding a balance between my work life, academic life, and social life. At the end of the day, work has never been an option for me. If I wanted things, even the basics, I had to work for it. I've been working since I was twelve, though at that time it was just for my grandfather, who did pay me to work on his farm. When I was sixteen I got my first real job so I could pay for my own cell phone and  the gas and improvements to my 1986 Nissan p.o.s.  I could tell you more about that scenario, but I want to stay on topic. When the Nissan didn't hold out for very long, I had to buy a new vehicle and, at seventeen, signed my first loan agreement.


     School was just another thing that wasn't handed to me. If I wanted my education I was going to have to pay for it. I spent my first year of college in New York, loved it, but ultimately decided that after changing my major to something more basic than the Forensics degree I had originally gone there to pursue, I made the transfer to Ball State in hopes of saving money. Even when living in New York, while everyone was going out on Saturday night, I was working, holding down security at the famous Planet Hollywood.


     Work has always been the main priority in my life. It has always been the one thing I couldn't opt out of, that couldn't budge. Even when the pressure was mounting on me five years ago when I previously attended Ball State and was dealing with recovery, rehabilitation, and a pending lawsuit against the insurance company that represented the guy that hit me and refused to pay for any of my medical care, it wasn't work that sacrificed, it was school, and it was school that I ultimately had to put on hold. 


     My life has taken me many places physically, mentally, and emotionally over the years, and now finally I am back here at Ball State trying to finish what I've started, and it feels right. The obstacle I've been facing lately however is this new job I started in May. I work for ACS Inc. in Anderson, an outsource call center for Verizon Wireless. The job is great pay with unrestricted overtime, which, in this economy, who can say they have that? There is such a demand for work at this company, however, that they've instituted a requirement of five hours mandatory overtime per week. I've spent much of my life working as a server and a bartender, only having to work maybe 30-35 hours per week to make my money. Now, with this job, I'm working an average of 50 hours per week, because some how I end up going in on my days off and picking up more work! I've worked as much as 116 hours in one week!


    I keep feeling more and more pressure at this job to work more and more hours while also trying to balance school and what little social life I have left. I protest and refuse, but somehow get guilted into working anyway. I mean, it's 3:40 in the morning, and I'm just finishing my homework before going to bed, and then getting up at 7:30.  I keep asking myself, when is it enough? How do I find the balance without sacrificing my mental and physical health?  I realize this is just the second week of school and I'm sure I'll adjust some more, but at this pace, I wonder if I'm going to be able to keep up.

Like the blog title says: Organized Chaos